When I take on a project, I tend to ignore everything else in my life. When I decided to start work on an ebook of original desserts, my kitchen started to look much as it does around the holidays when I’m baking and candy-making during every free moment I have. For Christmas, I like to make gift baskets of goodies, each year trying to get a bit more elaborate, always trying to include one thing specific to that person. Each year when I’m finished, I say never again.

With my kitchen in a new state of disaster – there are desserts everywhere (a sane person would stretch a project like this over weeks, happily snapping away a photo when they decide to make a dessert, but I never really claimed to be sane), it’s been somewhat of a struggle to cook everything from scratch.

Yeah, about that. It’s confession time.

I first slipped a bit without even realizing it, when I slathered some Hellman’s onto freshly toasted bread (hey, I made the bread from scratch), covered it in bacon and sliced tomatoes, and finally draped a lettuce leaf over it all. And of course topped it off with another slice of homemade bread slathered with Hellman’s.

I’m a failure.

But at least I didn’t realize that mistake until after the fact. I had nothing against making mayonaisse, other than the fact that I don’t like it very much to begin with. I use mayo for two things, and two things only: BLT’s and tartar sauce. Of course, I admit that my feelings toward the real deal may just be completely different. So, I’ve added making mayonaisse to my To Do list.

But I’ve knowingly broken the rules since then. First, after making up a batch of taco meat, full of onions and peppers, and lots of different spices, I realized I had a bag of opened organic tortilla chips in my pantry. (Why I couldn’t find them on the first day when it was lunchtime and my stomach was trying to eat itself, I’ll still never know.) Instead of making homemade tortillas for dinner that night, I made nachos. And then had nachos again for lunch the following day. And then had nachos again for dinner one night this week.

But even if you can forgive me for that transgression (after all, the chips were already open and in the pantry when I began this challenge), the real crime occurred when I decided I would purchase hamburger buns from the bakery. I had thrown myself into dessert making with such force that everything else was pushed aside. I had the choice to dirty up dishes making another dessert to photograph, or dirtying the dishes to make hamburger buns.

And then I remembered the reason I took on the Scratch Challenge – to basically force myself into preparing wholesome food everyday, regardless of everything else going on in my life. I thought of Julie Powell, and how the year she cooked all of Julia’s recipes, she often didn’t have dinner on the table until after 10 pm. I mean, the point is for me to not take the easy way out, just because I’m busy. What’s the point of a challenge if you’re choosing not to follow through? But as it turned out, a friend called me last night to offer up a change in menu. He was already making steak au poive and asked if I’d like to throw some filets into the mix. (This would be why I keep a butchered tenderloin or two in my freezer.) Yes! One of my favorite meals ever.

So instead of releasing the ebook today like I had hoped, I decided to give a preview of one of the desserts. The rest will be coming soon.

Isn’t it funny how by using that little phrase, you already know that I’ve had a bad day? I had intended to take a day and bake/prep a few things before the temperatures soared over the weekend. I planned on making zucchini muffins first thing this morning, and then enjoying one with a cup of coffee. And then I would shower, head out to get some groceries, then come home to bake some bread.

It didn’t really work out like that. At all. I realized I had only one egg, but I needed three for my muffins. I was so set on the schedule I had for myself that I didn’t want to change it around by showering and shopping first, then baking, because after a bout of baking in the summer, I would need another shower.

I have curly hair. Long, curly hair. Two showers in one day? I don’t think so.

So I scoured the Internet in search of egg substitutions in muffins. I mean, there are tons of vegan muffins out there, so obviously something works, right? Well, over and over I kept seeing 1/4 c of applesauce per egg to be a viable substitution. But with all of that zucchini in the recipe, I had my doubts. Still, after wasting away an hour of my morning, I realized there’s no shortage of zucchini in the summer, and I should just try the muffins. After all, I could always bake another batch in a few days, a batch following my tried and true recipe.

The end result was very…moist. And dense. Quite tasty, but not really muffin-like. Frankly, I’m not really sure what to compare these to, but they definitely were not a success. I should have taken a picture to show you how pathetic they looked, but I’ll be honest, I didn’t feel like transporting a pan of muffin flops over to a window so I could take a decent picture (there are no windows anywhere near my kitchen).

Once the muffins were out of the oven, I was so off schedule that I just plowed forward with making the bread dough, in an effort to get myself back on track. With all of my morning mishaps, you better believe that I shelved the idea of making tortillas, and I scratched tacos off the night’s menu. But with a new loaf of whole wheat bread and a pack of bacon in the fridge, I would not go hungry for dinner!

Now set on my first BLT of the summer, my spirits lifted…temporarily. It was then that I remembered the tomatoes that kept disappearing from my garden. Every partially ripened tomato has vanished from my garden over the past week, with nary a trace left behind. Squirrels? Raccoons? Or just a jerk of a neighbor? I’m really not sure. I’ve never seen raccoons around here before, and I’m having trouble accepting that squirrels would take my beautiful Roma tomato without leaving a tiny bit behind. But I don’t want to believe that a neighbor is a tomato thief, either.

Left with no other options, I bought a supermarket tomato that tasted like nothing. But the bread was a nice honey wheat, and after the trying day I had, I have to say that was still one of the best BLT’s I’ve ever had. Never before have I been so excited to sit down to such a simple dinner. And tomorrow’s lunchtime sandwich will be even better, because I can get perfect summer tomatoes at the farmer’s market.

Because of my little experiment though, I didn’t run out for a sandwich at lunchtime when I discovered the only food I had in the house was blanched almond flour, rolled oats, and the bacon I’d earmarked for dinner. I opted for another mushy muffin instead. I have to say, today made me realize how much I’ve come to rely on the comfort of having half a dozen grocery stores and dozens of restaurants only a short drive away (some are even within walking distance, if you’re lucky enough to make it across the street alive).

I’ve also come to realize that if I want to survive this challenge, I definitely need to restock my kitchen!

A homemade challenge, where anything goes, as long as it’s been made from scratch.

Michael Pollan has been on a mission to get us all back into the kitchen and away from processed foods. In his latest essay, he talks of the popularity of cooking shows and that surprisingly (or not), cooking shows don’t inspire the viewer to cook, just to watch more television. Sometimes I’m guilty of that, as well. I enjoy getting ideas from shows, and the really good shows draw you in and share a story. But I don’t always immediately run to the kitchen. It is relaxing and even heart-warming to watch someone else cook, and I suppose my love affair with the Barefoot Contessa stems from an invocation of memories, of watching my mother and grandmother cook, of anxiously awaiting the fruits of their efforts. But frankly, sometimes a mentally draining day is physically draining as well, and it’s just easier to pick up a sandwich from the deli; after a particularly trying day, I’ve even been known to sneak over to Taco Bell to pick up something I could quite easily make for myself in the same amount of time.

Pollan’s essay brings up an interesting, though not surprising, point that we’d all be better off if we did our own cooking. But what exactly does “cooking” entail? As a child, if I had a purchased pizza crust, pizza sauce, a bag of shredded mozzarella cheese, and a package of sliced mushrooms, you better believe I would have taken credit for “cooking dinner” if I’d assembled them all and baked them. As an adult, I don’t call that cooking any more than I’d call a Lean Cuisine or Kraft Macaroni & Cheese cooking. To me, cooking utilizes ingredients, though the definition of such can be a  bit subjective, I admit.

I started to wonder, could I even accomplish cooking everything from scratch?

I’ve decided to try it, for a minimum of 30 days, and I will blog all about it. August just may be the best time of all to test this out. When it’s hot and humid, who wants to turn on the oven? How many nights have I enjoyed a sandwich for dinner when I didn’t want to cook? But wait a second, if I didn’t feel like baking bread that day or cooking some meat, how exactly would I eat a sandwich?!?! You see where I am going with this.

I hope you’ll follow along as I embark on my journey. If you decide to give yourself a similar challenge, please let me know how you’re doing in the comments section!